Canadian legends reunite, post-metal trailblazers and more awesome gigs this week

Holy fug! If you’re anything like me, you’ll be kissing babies and waking the neighbours over the stellar amount of gigs this week. And you’re gonna want to pinch yourself when you check out the Distorsion Psych fest offerings over the weekend: a truly legendary Canadian band that are back together and better than ever; a truly legendary band that singlehandedly started the post-metal movement while continuing to eschew its clichés and the best stand-up comedian since the great Bill Hicks.

Buckle up, cuz.

Thursday: Distorsion Psych Fest really earn their stripes when they host the almighty Besnard Lakes at the Moth Room in their digs Eglise du Mile End. Best of all, the Bezzies will be playing their first record Volume One in its entirety while laying down some new jams. If you recall the Bezzies playing Barfly and the Main Hall during those early heady days of Volume One, they can get loud to the point of liquefying your fillings, so bring earplugs if they do choose to really relive their younger daze. Opening is Space Face, Moonwalks, Corridor and DJ Pat the Brat keeping things on the freaky tip. 5035 St-Dominique, 8 p.m., $15

Friday: Distorsion keeps things spinning with a performance from curmudgeon no wave legend Lydia Lunch with Frigs, It It Anita, Victime and DJ Loom at the Moth Room (see above Bezzies announcement). 5035 St-Dominique, 8 p.m., $15

If you aren’t ready to cool your buzz after Ms. Lunch launches tirades, you will want to stick around for Red Mass in the Caterpillar room — they’ll keep the trip going until 3 a.m. 5035 St-Dominique, 12 a.m., $15

Those of you who think this whole live music thing is overrated can make tracks to North Star and hump some pinball machines to the glorious all-vinyl sounds of punk, post-punk, power pop, new wave and more as provided by the lovely lads known as the Punk Police. 3908 St-Laurent, 10 p.m., free

Down at my fave watering hole (along with Barfly) in the city — l’Esco — is Las Rosas, Fuzzy Undertones and Palmetto. The real reason you will want to make this scene as I will be DJing until the wee hours. It’s on, Punk Police! 4461 St-Denis, 9:30 p.m., $8/$10

Saturday: Distorsion Psych Fest keeps things weird with les Marinellis, Poncutation, Make-Overs, Barry Paquin Robere with DJ Raven. Yep, it’s at Eglise du Mile End. 5035 St-Dominique, 8 p.m., $15

Slow

Slow — one of Canada’s best bands (second only to Nomeansno in my not so humble opinion) — is going to blaze at Sala, with Dearly Beloved and Public Display. Opinion on the interwebs just based off of their 10-night stint in Vancouver suggests that they are at the top of their game despite their 30-year hiatus. Slow in ’87 still remains one of the best shows I have ever seen, so have no fear — this will be completely amazing. 4848 St-Laurent, 9:30 p.m., $22/$25

For those of you who are looking for some more blips and bleeps in their jams, you’ll want to get down to the Plante to check out Berlin’s Sarin, Xarah Dion, Brusque Twins, a DJ set from Ginger Breaker, Anabasine and D. Blavatsky. Secret location, 10:30 p.m., $10/$12/PWYC

Sunday: Distorsion pick up stakes and move their scene to l’Esco for their final night, going out with a bang with the desert blues of Dunes, Jane and the Magic Bananas and DJ Xarah Dion spinning until night’s end. 4461 St-Denis, 8 p.m., $10

If you aren’t able to shave yet and routinely use the word “totes,” walk your acne-ridden mug down to Petit Campus for the teen rawk of the Sherlocks and the zany and wacky Frisky Kids. 57 Prince-Arthur E., 8 p.m., $15/$18.50

Monday: Okay, I told you this week was packed and this particular Monday night has me in a personal kerfuffle. The almighty Melvins will continue to razzle and dazzle at Corona, fleshed out with a Butthole Surfer and Redd Kross member in tow (2490 Notre-Dame W., 8 p.m., $28/$31), while the greatest stand-up comedian of our time — Doug Stanhope — will be drinking and taking verbal roads less travelled (la Tulipe, 4530 Papineau, 8 p.m., $60). (The easily offended will want to just go to the Melvins.) What will I do???? I am sweating just typing this out. Aaarrggghhh, I’ll put a sock in it and just get to Tuesday’s gigs.

Tuesday: If you haven’t been hip to the Eardrum Buzz series happening every Tuesday at Barfly, make your maiden voyage tonight. The series features artists with a definite experimental bent and this Tuesday will feature Squalor member Ruel’s side noise joint Maggot Breeder. Note that this one ends early. 4062 St-Laurent, 6-7 p.m., free

Wednesday: One of my favourite jazzbo players, Julian Lage, will confound the mind with sounds and chords that have yet to be discovered in a duo setting with Margaret Glaspy. He has previously been the foil for people like Nels Cline and Bill Frisell, so if you dig those master blasters as well as people like Marc Ribot, you will not want to miss this. This is all happening at l’Esco with Liza Anne opening. 4461 St-Denis, 8 p.m., $20/$24

Current Obsession: Bill Frisell, Nashville

jonathan.cummins@gmail.com

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